Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
