Umm I'm too high to move.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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