I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
