i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
