i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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