I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
