I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
