Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
