It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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