he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
