am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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