i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
