I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
