she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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