Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize