Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
