wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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