Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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