i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
