"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
