Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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