you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
