im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Someone shattered a urinal.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Randomize
