Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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