if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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