Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
