At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
