And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
