i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
