My nipple is on Facebook.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
