I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
