Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
