Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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