Got a toothbrush?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
