my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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