I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
