He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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