Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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