Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
