I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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