While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
