Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
