Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize