He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
