It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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