My sheets look like a crime scene.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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