I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
