Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
