i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
