U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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