Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
