Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
