So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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