Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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