haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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