so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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