The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
