Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she peed on how many people?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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