Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
