and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I want to be your penis for a week.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
