I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
