Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
